Monday, July 25, 2011

Our Own Private Gladys

We have a nosy neighbor. At first I thought it was our personal stalker, Paul Sieracki, but Tim pointed out that it could not have been and that it was most likely one of the neighbors across the street. The local fuzz sauntered up to me at the gas station while I was waiting for my son to pump the gas for me and told me that a neighbor had caught my son "peeling out" of our driveway on camera and that the next time they saw him do it they would sign a citation. Wow. I was, naturally, menopausal about the issue. While we discussed it, somewhat tensely, Tim had mentioned that while he was out in the shed one day looking through our plethora of vhs movies, some old man had peeked around the corner to see what was in there and ran off in a flash when he saw Tim. Holy Friggin' Cow! I am hard put as to what the neighbors think is going on over here. We aren't doing drugs, we aren't doing bad things, and we have never done anything to the neighbors--we have never even spoken to them. I thought, perhaps, it was my pentagram sticker on the bumper of my car that may have got them going, but Tim said they probably just think I'm Jewish.

This makes me want to post something for the neighbors to see that will really freak them out. I have toyed with erecting a huge middle finger in the yard, but that would not be my style, really, and would probably be illegal in some way. Then I thought to put a big black pentacle flag on the hooks I use for the American Flag at the patriotic holidays. Nope. That falls under the whole "they'll just think you're Jewish" thing. (Unless they are white supremacists, which might explain it). I toyed with placing a reversed cross out there, but my landlord is a Christian, and I don't really want to make him feel bad because he's pretty cool. What to do, what to do, what to do?

Perhaps nothing. Nothing would irritate them because it would make them wonder if the police actually said anything to us at all. Going about our day to day lives caring little for those who have nothing better to do than to peek through the slats of their blinds at us every time the door opens is the better way to live. That way, we don't feel like we have to walk on eggshells and carry a big bible every time we go out to the car.

I think I want to put another sticker on my car that says, "Je-sus (Hay-soos) is Lord".

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